spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
