I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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