The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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