I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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