yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
