i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
