I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
