thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
