That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
