i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
