I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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