another moral hangover. fuck.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
