You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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