Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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