: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
