New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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