So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
