i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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