you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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