TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize