Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
