i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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