Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize