No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
