It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
