Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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