this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
