I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
