I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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