Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
