so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
