I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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