Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize