So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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