My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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