you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize