help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
