Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
