I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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