Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
