Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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