I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize