And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
