so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
