well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
