u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
