His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
