shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
