I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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