Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
