i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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