i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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