I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
