i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
