STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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