I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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