May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
