I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
