We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
