Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
