I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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