Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
