What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
